My life has been so busy with the day to day that I have found it hard to connect on deeper levels with all of the people that I lovingly refer to as the SOIL Tribe. Laying the foundation for SOIL and creating courses over the last few years has taken up the majority of Kimberley and I’s attention not to mention the fact that we have other “jobs” so to speak and families that require our attention as well. Now we are at a point in the ministry where we feel we can be more present as to the real intention of why we created SOIL Ministries which is to connect with you.
Having said that I am going to share of myself, the ministry and what it means to be on path of God Realization on a deeper and more transparent level than I have and invite others to ask questions, share of themselves and have a glimpse into our process. I want to share my process and share my path so we can realize the deep significance as to why we are present together at this time on the Planet. It seems scary – it feels scary. I think it is scary because I have felt the judgment of others as to what it should look like to be minister, guide, healer and mentor of God. I feel that I have had to heal not only from the past in my life but I have also had to get comfortable with the calling that I define as my Soul’s purpose, mission and vision even though I am still struggling with my own issues of self judgment because I don’t measure up to my preconceived definition of what it means to be sanctified, set-apart or in union with God.
We may have our struggles yet we are all on an incredible journey of remembrance and discovery and when we begin to traverse the spiritual path many things that we thought we were into begin to fall away. Once that happens a part of our identity is reshaped and molded into a person that is not only unrecognizable to others but even unrecognizable to ourself at times. I have been in this process for many years now and every time I receive revelation as to who we truly are as spiritual beings I have had my thinking corrected, shed things that no longer served me or brought health to me. This is not an easy path – the path of God Realization, yet even now I know there is no other path for me.
I began this journey years ago when I was crying out to God to assist me out of a massive addiction and a painfully abusive relationship. I had no idea what that initial cry for change and transformation meant. I only knew that I needed help. I received the assistance I needed and today (20 years later) my life is totally changed as I am totally changed.
Even though my life is completely transformed and I am walking with God in the path of ministry this does not mean that I am without daily struggles. My physical body which I am learning to love for the vehicle of expression that it is still has its demands and some days it feels like I am dragging a corpse around. I experience the challenges of trusting God to meet my needs and the despair of my glamour that wants all the shiny things in life without the responsibility. I go through the shame of a life of bad choices and then I remember that I did not create myself. God created me and I am blessed. I have been blessed to have been delivered all those years ago by the Good Lord Himself. I am blessed now to come into closer communion with God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, the entire Company of Heaven and you.
Like I said, “the path is hard”, yet I must say that it is worth it. My life has substance now that it did not have before I walked a conscious spiritual path. The relationships that I have now are real and seem to have a greater purpose other than filling a need that stems from insecurity. I am strengthened to meet my financial challenges and to realize that I have so much in my life which I am very thankful and appreciative of.
I keep on keepin on in spite of knowing that to do so means that I will change and it won’t be easy. I desire to Realize in thought, feeling, word, and deed my Great God on all levels of my existence. Many times in sharing the totality of my experience I have held back and I have a feeling growing inside of me not to hold back anymore. I feel as if there some of you that may be holding back and in the holding back you are spinning your wheels as to whether or not you are ready to move into a greater experience of your spirituality and realization of God. Maybe you feel that in doing so people will think you are nuts or maybe you are scared of what you might have to give up or lose. Believe me when I tell you that you will have to give up things and you will lose things that were once so important to you, yet if you stick with God you will so be grateful that you took that first step or continued on with growing not stagnating on the path.
Let me know what you are struggling with as I would love to hear it. Let me know about your victories on the path. Let me know what you are studying or reading. Let me know if you feel frozen as what to do next to continue your spiritual journey or if you want to know where to start. Let me know a bit of your journey because by doing so you make God real in your experience and you can know there is someone out there that needs to hear what you have to say. Do you have questions about my personal life or my spiritual path? I would like to be at a place to trust God enough to share myself with you and would ask that you do the same. Email me @ firstname.lastname@example.org or you can find me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gaylin.read – let’s purpose to connect!
Looking forward to hearing from you,
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